My Fourteen Years as a Sober Escort

Veronica Monet
8 min readAug 30, 2020
Veronica Monet circa 1998

The first sober escort I ever met was Maria. She was a spunky, sexy brunette who attended my home group. She worked a good program and still had a hard time staying sober for more than a few months at a time. Maria felt prostitution was an impediment to her sobriety and it was her wish to quit the business someday soon. I eventually lost track of her so I have no idea if she ever did quit prostitution nor do I know if she was able to sustain any long-term sobriety.

But I certainly recall the resistance I felt inside myself when some members of twelve step recovery assumed that certain professions or sexual orientations are inconsistent with a life of sobriety. For me, tradition ten, which states “we have no opinion on outside issues,” created the safety I needed in order to get sober.

Similarly, “God as we understood Him,” the central theme communicated in the twelve steps, gave me the psychic space I needed to recover. Like others in twelve step groups, I learned that forming a conscious contact with God or my Higher Power, was a deeply personal journey which was not only encouraged, but created a key distinction between twelve step programs and religion.

Yet, I often encountered judgmental and opinionated people in meetings who were not shy about sharing their version of God, their take on “sin,” and their personal preferences…

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Veronica Monet
Veronica Monet

Written by Veronica Monet

Author, Creative Consultant for award winning documentary, IFS Informed Coach, Certified Sexologist. I write about s-e-x, shame, relationships, trauma, healing.

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